Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Practice Practice Practice

Releasing my fear
Asking for my hearts desire
Coming to know me

If you want to be a writer you must write, today I begin that practice. Inspired by my husband Kirby Urner's blog I am starting here with my publishing career. Input for you my gentle readers is most welcome.

My teachers have time and again told me to be careful what I wished for because I will receive my wish. Since my deepest wish is to become enlightened in this life time, I was admitted to an advance graduate level course is rebirthing - Inflammatory Breast Cancer. This path is not for the faint hearted and certainly I would not have consciously asked to walk that road.

For nine months, March till December 2004, I painfully and lovingly incubated a new body through chemo, surgery and radiation. I magically thought that the end of treatment would mean a new body and life without problems. I conveniently forgot labor! In my case four months of laboring with the fear of cancer manifesting as a deep depression a kind of netherland between life and death. I finally achieved my "birthing" with the help of a circle of women on a pilgrimage of Avalon.

Finally accepting that I am here to stay a while I am going about the business of constructing a life. Grounded in a tangible knowledge of impermanence I am choosing exactly what I want to do. I find I want to write, share and just "be" joyfully and fully.

Thank you for listening dear reader.