Thursday, July 14, 2005

What is normal?

Where is adventure?

Outside inside where you are?

Arising within.

The last few weeks have seen another round of testing and meeting with doctors in an effort to assess what is normal for me now. Normal for all of us is a moving target. What is normal before nine months of cancer treatment is not normal after that adventure.

We all cling to what we know and fear change at the heart of our being but yet there are times when we actively seek and expend great amounts of time and energy embracing change in the guise of “adventure”. Sometimes we plan and save for years to go to an exotic place far from home to be in a totally different culture. We usually build into these trips a sense of safety. For instance we say to ourselves, “I will come home in two weeks so I can do this” or “I am going with a tour guide who will keep me safe”, but those who have traveled know that impermence happens everywhere and control is not possible.

Sharon Salisburg reminded me at a lecture last night that one can have inner adventures as while as physical journeys. These inner realms have always been my playground of choice. Much like the outer world there are lands where travel is dangerous or expensive requiring much courage which is the currency of these landscapes.

Finding my normal again will come from exploring and living within.